Suggestions from a therapist on how to improve your parenting through understanding relationships. Drawing on ideas from Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT), which are explained in blogposts 1 to 5.
In blogposts 1 to 5, I describe how our children arrive with extreme roles and reactions and how, as parents, we have to try to develop their healthier, middle ground roles through the way we relate to them. It is not easy to stay in these middle ground roles and it is useful to have … Continue reading 10. Encouraging Separation and Independence
In blogs 1 to 5, I described the idea that babies come with two extreme states of being, and how as parents, we need to try and stay in the middle ground so that they can learn about healthier, less extreme roles. In my last blogpost, I described the factors that make it so hard … Continue reading 9. Guest Blog
In blogposts 1 to 5, I described ideas from Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) about how our babies come into the world with extreme states, either things are perfectly how they want them to be, or they are unbearable. Part of our task as parents is the fill the gap in the middle by managing to … Continue reading 8. Parental Supply and Demand
In previous blogs, I have described the way we map out relationship patterns in Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT), noting that babies and toddlers come with extreme roles, with things either being perfect or terrible. Our task as parents is to try and fill in the gap with less extreme roles, as shown on the CAT … Continue reading 7. Mind The Gap
In blogs 1 to 5, I wrote about how ideas from Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) can be applied to parenting. You can read more about CAT here (ACAT website), but I have been thinking about how the culture our children grow up in has an effect on the relationship roles they develop. Living in a … Continue reading 6. Culture Matters
In my previous blogs I have described a way of mapping out how our children relate to us and the pushes and pulls of life as a parent. In this one I will try to describe how you can use the CAT diagram, to make sense of difficult moments with your child. In CAT, we … Continue reading 5. Developing an Observing Eye
In the previous blog, I explained how your child is learning about relationship roles and starting to be able to play both roles. In this one we will see how they start to relate to themselves using these same roles. As they are learning the healthy middle ground roles, then in some situations, such as … Continue reading 4. Me, myself, I
In my last blog, I described how the way your baby, or older child reacts to an event, has an impact on your own feelings. It can feel as if we only have two emotional states as a parent. Either we are a “perfect parent” with a good, happy baby, or we are a “rubbish … Continue reading 3. Right back at you
In my last blog, I described a way of thinking about your baby’s two extreme states of mind; either everything is perfect and exactly how they want it to be, or something is wrong and, to your baby, it feels like the end of the world. I introduced you to the Cognitive Analytic Therapy (CAT) … Continue reading 2. The Relationship Dance
As parents, we do the most important and rewarding job we will ever do, but also the hardest. Whether baby, school age, or teenage, our children come with no instruction manual and no off-switch. The job of parenting spans 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, over many years with no time off and … Continue reading 1. The Story Begins
